Friday, August 25, 2006

The Sword of Damocles

For those of you familiar with RHPS, today's title should clue you in that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

Last week DH spent three days in the hospital from a heart attack and mild stroke. He is still not walking so good, was doing much better last night but then went and overdid himself. So today he can barely stand because his legs keep going numb. I had the thrill of trying to pick him up off the floor when he fell, now I get to go home again and find the Codeine because my back and arms are a-hurting, maynerd. I have a 5-pound lifting limit, so you can imagine what his 141 pounds (of dead weight) have done to me.

He has a doctors appointment next Wednesday, I am going with him (the one advantage to not being employed) and you can bet the baby's booties that I will be mentioning this numb leg issue. DH, being a Stubborn Man, wouldn't say anything about it otherwise.

And the worst thing of all to happen this week, because it is something I can't do a single freaking thing about: Elvis died. The monitor still works, but the tower won't even power up. Yes it is plugged in, duh I learned to check that little trick a LONG time ago. So, now all my writing will be done here at the library, or on paper... The home computer died, and I am extremely sad.... (To think I used to be Queen of the Technophobes, terrified of being in the same room as a computer).

There has been one good event this week; my neighbor needed a gift for a baby shower, and I should have it finished for her tonight. A granny-square baby blanket in blues and grays and whites. Purty... am on the final border round, making pretty little shells to classy it up. Second good event, Mom gave me some $$ to get the girls jeans for school. (Big sale here in town this weekend, hopefully can find some to fit them, sale is good but selection is iffy in Real People sizes). Also have to get Ruthi shoes for band, first performance is next Friday. School doesn't even start until Sept 5!!! I for one would be happy to put it off for a few more years...

Who would have believed it, I hate school now more than I did when I was actually in school!

One of my step-granddaughters, well, I still call them that even now that their mom has decided that my DH is not her father after all, has moved here to town with her father's parents and will be in Alae's grade at the high school. So, guess who Alae's locker partner is going to be! Yay, one good thing for the whole frigging year, that is a new record. Sheryl is a cutie, if her sister EVER gets off her patootie and emails me a photo I will post it here and tell lots of cute stories of when she was a little kidlet... (Are you reading this Jojo? HINT HINT) And got George's nephew's email from his daughter, so now can keep in contact with him again. Gods bless email!!!

OK, am going to end this now, and try to figure out why, with one week left before school starts, the Superintendant of Schools told me that he has no idea whether we will have a new principal at the high school this year. Either he is totally incompetent as an administrator, or he was bald-faced lying (technically I should say beard-faced lying)... either way, I am not impressed with the school anymore....

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Leaf Goddess

This is a ceramic wall plaque that I bought many years ago and painted. I love painting ceramics, when there was a store here that I could buy them at to paint. There was also a Green Man plaque, but I didn't get it and now I don't know where to find one. Originally planned to buy three more of the Goddess one here and paint them to match the seasons. Unfortunately, the store closed and now I can't find anyplace to buy more (affordably). Need to get a better photo of this one, not to brag but I have to admit that the eyes are absolutely beautiful. She was so much fun to paint, and has hung on my kitchen wall as my "KitchenWitch/Kitchen Guardian" since the paint dried. I want to get some photos of the other statuettes that I painted and still have. I did a small gargoyle in purples, somehow managed to get the paint to look marbleized (sp?), it was **SSSOOO** cool. Yes, I gave it away as a gift without getting a photo. Sigh. And will probably never be able to duplicate the marbling effect again... Oh well! On to the Internet to surf for RHPS stuff.

Pretty pictures

Finally found some pretty pix of my own, ok actually of George's flowers, all my plants are plastic and dead anyway. How do you kill a cactus by not watering it enough? Don't know, but I do know that I did...

Rants: Episode 1

My gods, has it really been two weeks since I updated this? Seems like only a few days ago...

First rant: childproof bottles. If I don't want one, why give me grief over it? Yet the local pharmacist, smarmy fart, says "you don't need easy-open bottles, you're young." My dear clone informed him that "Mom has arthritis." Did I get an apology? No. Did I get the dammed easy-open bottle? No. Did I go back and demand a different cap? Hell yes. When I sprained my wrist really badly a few million years ago (Before Children), I went to the pharmacy with my arm in a splint, and when I got home with my pain pills I discovered that they had put the blanking things in a childproof bottle. Ever try to open one with a sling on your arm? And of course I was alone at home, even the neighbors were gone (probably a good thing...) I was less than cheerful that night!

Second rant: people that work in service-related fields that have no empathy for people. If you are only in the health-care field because the pay is good, GET A DIFFERENT JOB. When I or my hubby or kids are sick or injured, the last thing I want is a "medical person" who is rude or smarmy or sanctimonious. Last night my hubby had to go to the hospital (I have another name for the one in Coldwater) by ambulance, and the driver wouldn't let me ride with them because in my haste to get to the scene I didn't take the time to find my shoes. (Yes, I go barefoot at home. Sue me). When I (crying for criminey's sake) told him that I didn't have any other way there, his exact words were "That's not MY problem." Then he felt the need to call the police to "talk" to me, because I was so upset. Hey, my husband is having chest pains and you idiots refuse to let him take his Nitro pill, you won't let me go to the hospital and you're talking like he won't live long enough to GET to the hospital; WHY would I be upset????? And to top it off, the cop on duty is the one that tried to get me sent to prison because I told him not to shove my teenage daughter into a brick wall. Sehkmt cleared that little bushwa episode up, but there is no love lost between my family and this fascist creepoid. (His nickname in our house is Officer Cartman; re: SOUTH PARK. Don't get me started on that one...)

Rant the third: People who think that a uniform and gun make them better than civilians. Guess what: you're not. And to think, when I was young and naive I honestly thought we live in a democratic society. Now I see that fascism is as rampant as discrimination, if not more so. I have a very low income right now, I don't own a home, my taste in entertainment is not the most mainstream, my religion is not the same as the President's (Thank you Goddess!!!), my kids are opinionated and not afraid to speak their mind, my mental health is tenuous, but guess what: none of that makes me less "good" of a person. I love my family and friends, I try to help others when I can (and sometimes when I can't), I love to read, and write, I enjoy the beauty in nature, and I never kick a dog or kid. (Although there are times, I must say, that I might want to nudge them just a little...)

Okay, I guess that is enough for this post. I feel my blood pressure starting to elevate; fortunately it is usually in the low range, so I have farther to go before hitting the "danger" status. Will go home later and watch RHPS --again. At least my clone knows how to calm me down when I start to go postal on the planet... put on Dogma or RHPS, do the Time Warp again...

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

70 Diskettes

Yee godz of Technology, I have as much hard drive backed up as can be done. Took 70 diskettes to do it, still have a few things on there but at this point there is nothing I can't live without! Believe me, after zipping and saving that many files/photos/databases, I should be sick and tired of everything computer. But obviously I'm not or you wouldn't be reading this. (If you are actually reading this, and I'm not just blathering for my own therapy)...

Am uploading everything to my personal backup file on the internet, thanks to Dusty's ingeniousness. Of course every so often I get a floppy disk that worked just fine on my own computer an hour ago, but that just doesn't want to open here at the library.... foo bar.... but will persevere, onward and upward, stiff upper lip, yada yada yada.

Actually, there are probably a few things saved on diskette that I could live without, and I know that I did end up duplicating photos; but at this point I DON'T CARE. Better to have two copies of photos of my babies, than to discover that, OOPS, that one I deleted was the only copy after all. Can never have too many photos, of family, friends, and other miscellaneous memories. Especially after the object of the photo is gone.

OK great, now I am depressing myself again. I spent an hour this morning crying myself to sleep, I hate the thought that I might need new meds because everything else that I have taken has either knocked me out completely, zombified me, or made me more depressed than I was to start with. Don't know if it is the meds not working anymore, or just that there is so much extra stress in my life right now, or both, or that I am just a walking piece of oxygen-waster. To be more accurate, a sleeping/crying/useless oxygen-waster. I miss my Mamaw, my friends that all have moved away or moved on in their lives, I hate my wretched "cousin" that had the balls to off herself, because I don't have the guts or the strength or the plain intelligence to do the same myself, I hate that I haven't contributed anything to the world, that when I die there will be no grave, no headstone with The Perfect Epitaph, nothing to commemorate my life or death. Nothing to show that I was ever on this planet. Geez, life sucks. Poverty sucks. If it weren't for the local library offering free internet access and letting me sign out books, there would be absolutely nothing worth being in this town for. Which reminds me, I need to sign out another Dean Koontz novel, finished Dark Rivers of the Heart last night. I will have to stop reading his books if I can't get through them without crying at the sad parts. Literally bawling. After I finished the Koontz book, I found the copy of Charlene Harris's Dead in Dixie and started reading it. Got to the part where {SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!! SPOILER ALERT!!!} Sookie's discovers her grandmother's murdered body in the kitchen, and had to put the book up because I couldn't see the print through my tears. Now I am crying about my grandma being gone, and how much I miss her, but I am glad that she isn't here to see what a hopeless mess I have made of my life.

I am in serious need of a Terry Pratchett novel, a new one that I haven't already read.